So everyone has their moments.... yunno, those moments that bring the harsh reality that nobody is perfect. okay okay okay...we have a LOT of those moments, but just like mistakes in anything, you live and learn and let it go. No need to continue to relive it because others can't do the same. There are those moments that exist, we have all had them at some point. The humbling kind, that make you want to shrink down into a secret corner and then smack your hand against your forehead whilst repeating, "what the hell was I thinking?" A bit dramatic? maaaaaaaybe...but this is an instance where I don't know what I was thinking (I mean, I DO, but it definitely did NOT turn out in my favor). Let me start by saying this (and you may not agree with me, but its my opinion and well...
I'm sure you know me by now) :) People without kids, or who haven't had kids in awhile, or may think they are the "best" at parenting are usually the first to whip out that life-size magnifying glass to examine your parenting skills. So there you are...may as well be naked with a cell phone glued to your hand while dangling your messy faced, sugar indulged child by the feet while screaming at them to quit being a child. Am I right?!?! At least thats the stereotype of a "careless parent" that I am sure we can all relate to being compared to (even if its just in our heads) when something happens. Sometimes it is what it is. You are going to turn your back for 2 seconds, and it may not be the end all be all....after all- superwoman, and inspector gadget are make believe, but sometimes that's not the case. I have had my moments where i thought, "oh man, that could have turned out badly" (I know, at this point you are wondering...what did she do dangit?"Don't worry baby bird....I will feed you) :) BUT being a first time parent- I kinda have to fly by the seat of my pants sometimes. It was the morning of my goddaughters 1st birthday party. I had informed my best friend that I would come as soon as H woke up and we got ready. (I thought, I would feed her, and then put her down for a nap where the party was so i could really help- ingenious, right?!?) So i get everything ready, and decided since it was cold and rainy that I would just bring her in and put her down for her nap and then go run the necessary errands. OF COURSE she falls asleep on the way over (its like a crazy hypnosis, those cars!) I was jammin to my phone (which plugs into my radio) had the heat blasting, and pulled into the driveway. I thought to myself...hmm....I'm gonna be right back out here, so Im just gonna run her in really quick. I unlock my door, get out, close it (it is raining and 50 degrees) then go to open her door. Its locked. DUH, I only unlocked my own door manually. I reach to my drivers side door, and pull the handle...ITS LOCKED!!!! Are you freakin kidding me?!?! HOW DID THAAAAAT HAPPEN? My momentary freak out mommy bear mode kicked in. I look thru my heavily tinted rear window- she is OUT, like a freakin light. Colton Dixon blaring, heat going, phone in my car, no prayer in the world I am getting in that car. What do I do? break the window, try to pry my truck open and crawl thru the seat? wait- i have no key hole on my trunk!) I LAUGH! of COURSE this would happen to me! The mom who double checks baby gates, and the floor for small objects....and of course its on S's bday. I walk thru the door and as i'm greeted, my first words are "Sooooo...i locked my kid in the car" (I am laughing mind you) She is sleeping, the heat is on, the music is going, and we are in my best friends in-law's driveway. We got everything figured out. The gist is a friend of a friend had a lock out kit (since my husbands was still with his friend who had borrowed it awhile ago) She slept the entire time...only to wake up when the door was finally unlocked. It was probably a 45 minute nap from my house until the point of my car getting unlocked. The crazy part is, i STILL don't know how it happened. Maybe I hit the lock when i closed the door. I don't know....but let me tell you what.....that situation could have been A LOT worse. ALL day long I heard "yeah, well at least I didn't lock my kid in the car" It seemed like it was the first thing everyone heard (mostly from my husband) I felt like i may as well get a megaphone and announce it. ATTENTION EVERYONE...I LOCKED MY KID IN THE CAR. SHE IS FINE. AS YOU WERE. (In his defense. This is the second time i have locked myself out of my car. Altho the first time she was with me, and it wasn't my fault) **SIDE NOTE** When H was 3 weeks old, I traveled by myself down to Texas. I was breastfeeding (still am) and stopped to fill up with gas and nurse her. She had consumed a bad bottle (breast milk was pumped and sat too long) and had thrown up everywhere. I changed her, nursed her all in the back of my car while the heat was on, and windshield wipers were going. When i went to start my car- I had apparently run the battery down. Luckily 2 nice ppl helped me. He took my keys and tried to start my car, and of course it didn't work, so he left them in the ignition on the setting before it turns over. They hooked up and jumped my car. When he hooked it up the windshield wipers started going. When he disconnected it, they stopped so he hooked it back up again....well...when my car has the keys in the ignition even in the radio/air position and the door is closed, the door automatically locks- so he locked my keys in my car! Thankfully the tow truck came quickly and unlocked it but being so far away from home (I was in OK) and dealing with this by myself was overwhelming to say the least) **END NOTE** No one likes to make mistakes. BUt what is worse than making them, is having to relive them. You don't think I know it was a bad situation? Don't let the smile on my face or my sense of humor deceive you...It is just how I function. I didn't wake up and say "HEy! Today feels like a great day to lock my kid in the car!" But it happens to the best of us! Those are the moments that really take its toll on you. The ones where you all-of-a-sudden feel the need to defend every ounce of your parenting or to justify that you are a GOOD parent. It was at this time I received a call from my husbands grandfather. (this was the next day after the matter) I was over it :). He asks what H is doing. I let him know she was playing in her swing. His response "Oh I thought she might be locked in the car again". UGH...really?!?! AGAIN? Cant I catch a flippin break? I just take a breath and answer" Yeah Grandpa, she liked it SO much yesterday she asked me to do it again. So i put the swing in the back, turned on her jams and let her go!" He then proceeded to tell me that wasn't good. uhhh yeah, I am very well aware! I was at my wits end, really. How much more was I going to have to hear about this?!? The next part was the humbling part... He said "It's nice to know you aren't perfect. Guess that makes you normal like the rest of us now." HMMMM...he was right! I am NOT perfect. I am allowed to make mistakes. It could have been SO much worse. Why do we as parents have to beat ourselves up for a momentary mistake? No one was hurt, the world didn't end, I don't love her any less, she doesn't love me any less. PLUS- I learned my lesson. Either my keys come with me and I remote start my car, or I crack the window- EVERY time now! I think as a society SO many ppl are quick to judge. you see a mom on her cellphone and automatically think they are playing on Pinterest or FB and not paying attention to their child- when maybe their loved one is in the hospital or ill and they are simply responding to an update. We are SO quick to whip out our magnifying glasses and pass judgements. Those who know me, know I ALWAYS defend the person who isn't there. It may come off as justification or making excuses... but it is merely my ability to take a step back and try to see it form another view or side. I have my Dad to thank for that one! Because the reality is- you do what is best for you and your family. People will always have opinions- just because they are different than someone else's, doesn't mean the other person is wrong! I may have laughed off my situation, but it doesn't mean I wasn't horrified! I may come off calm, cool and collected...like a laid back mom on the exterior- but BOY OH BOY, on the interior, I freak out and stress out- it's just not in my nature to let it show! SO i challenge everyone who reads this to think twice before giving someone a hard time about their life or life choices. What it boils down to is everyone is imperfectly perfect. yeah....thats right! or perfectly imperfect. either way....it is what it is, and that's allllll that it is! TRUE STORY! :)
